Saturday, February 26, 2011

Clapotis & More!

I have been working on my knitting a lot more than I anticipated and my hands have given up their reign of terror lately so this update is coming much sooner than I imagined... First, the mail man came today attempting to deliver Phillip's olive heather yarn, only he knocked on the wrong door and ended up leaving one of those dreaded pink slips in the mailbox. Phillip is fully measured and though his sizing is a little odd in comparison to the pattern I think it will work out well. I am looking forward to coming home on Monday and starting the project. As always, I will be sure to update my progress though I think I will be in for the long haul. It pains me to think of my nice big package waiting all alone in that dark post office... the worst part? I saw the offending post man driving away with a package right next to him... just in view through the window. We locked eyes... I knew it was them. sigh.

In other news, my Clapotis with the Madelinetosh Pashmina is coming along really well. I tried to take some photos earlier but some where in the process I realized it is virtually impossible to show off how impressive it is looking. The entire piece will need a hard blocking to open up the ladders but the dropped stitch pattern is really coming along well. I am not sure if I will use all 700 yards that I purchased. I will likely end at somewhere around the 350 range once I am nearing the end of my first ball.

Last weekend I finished the long and very boring task of the bamboo blanket from hell. I have been working on this blanket on and off for months now and I have no clue what I was thinking... 1000+ yards of doubled stockinette stitch on size 13 needles... Obviously all Knitters have bad ideas, and this was one of mine. Either way, it is finally finished and now one of us will have a nice cozy lap blanket.

In other-other news, I came across an enemy this week. Knitters beware... Let me start this by saying that I had my admissions test this past week. I have been on level 10+ anxiety for over a week now and I could barely contain myself. The day was insanely rainy and gross and I struggled for a long time about whether or not I should bring my Clap. I had it in a bag (duh) but would it be enough? How could I know that my main bag, the bag the other bag was housed in, would be water proof? Would this yarn stand the test of water? First I was boiling with test anxiety, then I started in with the knitting anxiety and it was almost too much for me to take. Anywho, I go in and take the test which takes me a whole lot less time than I first imagined. I think "Great! Some quiet knitting time would really help--glad I brought it along--phew!" I had about two hours before I was to have a casual interview/tour thing, so after wandering I settle in a small little eating area where the hum of the soda machine was mimicking my stitches. I was in some sort of orgasmic knitting zone. I am feeling on top of the world--great, wonderful, fantastic and then I see it. I look over and see a man (spoiler alert: the offender), sitting down outside of the testing area. I wish I could draw a map but I will spare you... The area I was in was part of the administration building and held admissions, financial aid, and the dreaded testing area. Okay, so here I am, working on my Clap, in a very official knitterly rhythm that is to die for, and this slkdjflsjldjflasjdfksjf (only "word" I can think to use at the moment...) sits down and begins a very long phone conversation at full volume.
He is not even close to me, but I swear I can hear everything coming out of his mouth, including his breathing. I start sweating, losing my speed, forgetting my pattern, when it gets worse. This MAN (%^&!!!^&*) then decides he is going to grab a seat closer to me and begin what I can only describe as the most dreadfully painful conversation I have ever had to endure. He begins and I start to panic (I almost never knit in public because it is my own sort of meditation time, I certainly don't want to deal with people like this and I find outside stimuli to be a little too much usually.). He then proceeds to conduct some sort of oil related interview and to my dismay (and serious disapproval) he puts a woman on speaker phone! At this point I am livid. Workers at the school have come trotting past and I can't help but make faces at them... "Can you believe this jackass?!?!", I find myself saying to a poor financial aid director who has no words of advice for me. Not only is a testing center nearby full of nervous and sweaty prospective students but a KNITTER is in your midst and you are seriously going to have 30+ minute conversation with a woman on speaker phone and somehow throw in that you are trying not to "bother people"? AHHHHHH. (Poor Phillip, when he arrived home this story lasted even longer than this...) Eventually, I put my knitting down because I knew the asshat was not going to end the call nor go outside and converse with this woman about what I can only call personal information about something related to her oil well. By the time I stood up to leave my perfect little knitting corner, I had learned the offender lived in a home in Catoosa, Oklahoma with his wife and four daughters. I learned he generally didn't do "these things" on the phone but in person, but the caller was obviously too far away. I learned many things, including this man was a total tool. I stood up, biting my lip, wondering if I could grab his files which he had set up as some sort of mock desk area and throw them everywhere in some sort of movie version of life. I wondered if I could grab the phone and stomp on it and proclaim that this was from knitters everywhere. My blood was boiling. I ended up approaching the door away from this evil, evil man, before I started in for the door on the opposite end of the building, nearest him. I walked by and told him my piece... For the record, you are incredibly rude and bothering ME. In case you haven't noticed you are in a school, where people are trying to test. Not your damn office where you're free to put people on speaker phone! People like you make me wish cell phones were never invented!!!!!
The offender was confused as "Mary" was still talking about the testing of her oil well... he looked at me, looked at his papers, looked at the phone and before he could say anything I walked out the door feeling like a serious victory had been won on my way toward a more public knitting lifestyle. I suppose this should be a lesson?
Again, poor husband for having to listen to me rant, and now poor you for having read all this. Just remember when you are sitting in for a wait---at the doctors office, at the hair salon, anywhere-- survey the place. If you notice a knitter in the corner, basking in a sort of knitting hurricane of pleasure then please, please, please, put down the cell phone and at the very least, no speaker phone!

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